Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Damn bugs!

Saturday night one of these guys was walking across the living room. I found the one in the pictures below outside 3 years ago. It's not a photoshop hack - they really are that big. The latest one was even bigger, so big I was afraid to pick him up with needle-nose pliers so I sucked him up with the vacuum. I've got one of those whole-house vacuum systems. I checked the canister the next morning and it wasn't in there so it's in the pipes in the walls ... somewhere.





Killed 2 scorpions in the house last night. Ugh!

Monday, September 14, 2009

Home at last

I just got this back from my taxidermist on Sunday. I think it was 4 years ago with my bow when I killed him. It was my first nice buck with a bow and I thought he was majestic enough to warrant preserving so I had him mounted.

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Savannah Mugging

This ad was supposedly posted on Craig's List 05-27-09, 1:43 AM EST:

To the guy who tried to mug me in downtown Savannah night before last.

I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on my girlfriend and me, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings.

I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.

First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening.

Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, wasn't it?

I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from bare footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as four other peoples in the gas station on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful! I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. (This made his day!)

I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked by the curb — after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.

Later, I called a bunch of people from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what's going on with that?

Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning the president as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess it was long enough for them to have traced your number).

In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you, but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate “pressing issues” and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon and perhaps reconsider the career path you've chosen to pursue in life.

Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.

Have a good day!

Thoughtfully yours,
Alex

P.S. Remember this motto — “An armed society makes for a more civil society!”