Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Buglary Commercial

Warning: Not for the faint of heart

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Deer Season Status

I've only got one doe this year so far. It's my fault - I haven't been putting in enough tree-time. My bowsight was in pretty poor shape from crawling around through the hookthorns in Namibia but I got that replaced last week. It's shooting good again.

Last night I was getting cold from the wind so I made a quick dash to the house for more clothes. Of course when I reached the back door a buck and I made eye-contact. He had a really nice rack. Damn! After that I only saw one shit-buck. By that I mean he's got a small rack and isn't legal to shoot because of our antler restrictions. You basically can't kill anything with less than a 13" spread unless it's a spike. I think he winded me anyway as he was acting goofy and took off before he got close. There used to be a pair of them but I'm guessing the other one got poached.

The hashmas party was last night and I drank entirely too much. The flying saucer has great beer and I've got an achillies heal for good stouts. They sneeked one of my African hunt videos in with the hash photos. It was the one where I arrowed a warthog. I think most people were impressed by it but a couple harriets were offended. Their complaints were more than offset by those thanking me watching the demeanor of said harriets.

This was good education as far too many don't wish to believe that for every chicken mcnugget, hamburger, and fish fillet there is a gutpile.

Monday, December 08, 2008

Rules for Survival

Liberals:
  1. Have no personal possessions, and for God's sake don't carry money or credit cards.
  2. Whenever possible, stay locked at home, and never venture out.
  3. When at home, have a can of hairspray, a whistle, and be ready to dial 911.
  4. Appeasement has worked so well for Europe over the last 500 years, try preemptively giving them what they want before you are attacked.
  5. During the attack, try and figure out what you have done wrong to deserve the attack, and try and avoid similar behavior in the future. Consider the first attack a polite reminder to help out the city's less fortunate.
  6. If the punk starts shooting, try and get away from the bullets.
  7. A few community pride projects, like a playground cleanup, will probably do more to protect you than any self-defense measure.
  8. Suggest to the criminal that he participate in a gun buy-back program as a more legitimate source of revenue in the future.
  9. Since these encounters are about control and ego, show that you are terrified and will submit meekly to the punk's every whim. If possible, try to urinate in your pants. Predators respect fear and weakness.

Alternate suggestions by Drill Sargent Joe B. Fricks:

  1. Forget about knives, bats and fists. Bring a gun. Preferably, bring at least two guns. Bring all of your friends who have guns. Bring four times the ammunition you think you could ever need.
  2. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammunition is cheap - life is expensive. If you shoot inside, buckshot is your friend. A new wall is cheap - funerals are expensive.
  3. Only hits count. The only thing worse than a miss is a slow miss.
  4. If your shooting stance is good, you're probably not moving fast enough or using cover correctly.
  5. Move away from your attacker and go to cover. Distance is your friend. (Bulletproof cover and diagonal or lateral movement are preferred.)
  6. If you can choose what to bring to a gunfight, bring a semi or full-automatic long gun and a friend with a long gun.
  7. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.
  8. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating, reloading, and running.
  9. Accuracy is relative: most combat shooting standards will be more dependent on "pucker factor" than the inherent accuracy of the gun.
  10. Someday someone may kill you with your own gun, but they should have to beat you to death with it because it is empty.
  11. Always cheat, always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
  12. Have a plan.
  13. Have a back-up plan, because the first one won't work. "No battle plan ever survives 10 seconds past first contact with an enemy."
  14. Use cover or concealment as much as possible, but remember, sheetrock walls and the like stop nothing but your pulse when bullets tear through them.
  15. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
  16. Don't drop your guard.
  17. Always tactical load and threat scan 360 degrees. Practice reloading one-handed and off-hand shooting. That's how you live if hit in your "good" side.
  18. Watch their hands. Hands kill. Smiles, frowns and other facial expressions don't (In God we trust. Everyone else keep your hands where I can see them.)
  19. Decide NOW to always be aggressive ENOUGH, quickly ENOUGH.
  20. The faster you finish the fight, the less shot you will get.
  21. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet if necessary, because they may want to kill you.
  22. Be courteous to everyone, overly friendly to no one.
  23. Your number one option for personal security is a lifelong commitment to avoidance, deterrence, and de-escalation.
  24. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun, the caliber of which does not start with anything smaller than "4".
  25. Use a gun that works EVERY TIME. "All skill is in vain when an Angel blows the powder from the flintlock of your musket." At a practice session, throw you gun into the mud, then make sure it still works. You can clean it later.
  26. Practice shooting in the dark, with someone shouting at you, when out of breath, etc. Regardless of whether justified of not, you will feel sad about killing another human being. It is better to be sad than to be room temperature.
  27. The only thing you EVER say afterwards is, "He said he was going to kill me. I beleived him. I'm sorry, Officer, but I'm very upset now. I can't say anything more. Please speak with my attorney."
  28. Rules for un-armed combat: Never be unarmed.

Thursday, December 04, 2008

Old Tom Quotes

  • When we get piled upon one another in large cities, as in Europe, we shall become as corrupt as Europe.
  • The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not.
  • It is incumbent on every generation to pay its own debts as it goes. A principle which if acted on would save one-half the wars of the world.
  • I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them.
  • My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government.
  • The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government.
  • The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants.
  • To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.
  • I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies. If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their currency, first by inflation, then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around the banks will deprive the people of all property until their children wake-up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered.

-Thomas Jefferson