You may be a muzlim...

1. If you refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor...
   You may be a Muslim
   
   
2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes...
   You may be a Muslim
   
   
3. You have more wives than teeth. ..
   You may be a Muslim
   
   
4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon unclean...
   You may be a Muslim
   
   
5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide...
   You may be a Muslim
   
   
6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against...
   You may be a Muslim
   
   
7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing...
   You may be a Muslim
   
   
8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs...
   You may be a Muslim
   
   
9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four...
   You may be a Muslim
   
   
10. Your cousin is president of the United States...
    You may be a Muslim
    
    
11. You find this offensive or racist...
    You may be a Muslim